I hit upon a funny thought this morning concerning prepper anniversary presents. You know there are the traditional 
presents like paper for the 1st anniversary, wood for the 5th and the 50th is gold, and I had the thought of trying to come up with a prepper’s version of that same list, and wouldn’t it be funny.
presents like paper for the 1st anniversary, wood for the 5th and the 50th is gold, and I had the thought of trying to come up with a prepper’s version of that same list, and wouldn’t it be funny.So I researched and downloaded the list and found several variations between cultures- mostly European cultures- and time periods. Though the cultural differences did much bother me I discovered that there were only 6 “named” anniversaries traditionally celebrated prior to 1937; 1st, 5th, 10th, 15th, 50th and 75th. In 1937 the American National Retail Jeweler Association introduced the current list, gee wonder why?
I was interested to find that for the later anniversaries, again of the European variety, the celebration of the 25th and 
50th anniversaries were community oriented. In Germany, for instance, the friends and neighbors of a couple celebrating their 25th anniversary would congratulate them by presenting them with a silver wreath, or a gold one for their 50th. Apparently, from what I can determine, Asian cultures don’t traditionally celebrate wedding anniversaries with the exception of the silver 25th and the golden 50th. My friend Mark, who is married to a Philippine woman, said that these types of things (birthdays, anniversaries and such, always revolve around a big party with lots of food. In essence, the gift is the party and the food.
50th anniversaries were community oriented. In Germany, for instance, the friends and neighbors of a couple celebrating their 25th anniversary would congratulate them by presenting them with a silver wreath, or a gold one for their 50th. Apparently, from what I can determine, Asian cultures don’t traditionally celebrate wedding anniversaries with the exception of the silver 25th and the golden 50th. My friend Mark, who is married to a Philippine woman, said that these types of things (birthdays, anniversaries and such, always revolve around a big party with lots of food. In essence, the gift is the party and the food.So, to help be on down the road figuring out my prepper aniversary gifts I created a spreadsheet of the 6 anniversaries by year and created a column called Traditional, one called Prepper, and a third called Optional. I then used a spare column to make a list of prepper things like, a meat grinder, 9mm hand gun, and large fermenting crock.
I then thought about what gift would be appropriate for which year I moved an item from the list and dropped it in the Prepper or Optional column for the specific year unfortunately I immediately ran into a problem. As the item dropped into the spreadsheet cell I would ask myself, “Why doesn’t he/she already have that?” Or, “Wouldn’t they need that in year one not year 5?” This thinking spread further, like that pseudo virus that ran up Neo’s arm in The Matrix; “If she didn’t have the meat smoker in the first year, why did he even marry her?!” and “Would I trust her with a 9mm hand gun in year 5 if she didn’t have one for the last 4 years?!”
Of course this is all in humor because everyone, preppers included, likes nice things and there is nothing wrong with 
giving your wife a crystal broach on your 15th anniversary nor for her to give you a Glock (hey, I’m not much of a traditionalist) but what if we utilized the stereotype, what would that look like? What kind of gifts would hardcore preppers get for each other after putting up with each other for some number of years, especially if the “norm” is that only one person of the couple is a prepper and the other simply allows them to conduct their craziness as a hobby. I mean, if I bought my wife a meat smoker for our anniversary she’d find physiological inappropriate things to do with the leather hiking boots that I got her in the previous year! But me, she could award my faithfulness and longevity with 70 rounds of .223 and some paper zombie targets and I would know that she honored loved and respected me.
giving your wife a crystal broach on your 15th anniversary nor for her to give you a Glock (hey, I’m not much of a traditionalist) but what if we utilized the stereotype, what would that look like? What kind of gifts would hardcore preppers get for each other after putting up with each other for some number of years, especially if the “norm” is that only one person of the couple is a prepper and the other simply allows them to conduct their craziness as a hobby. I mean, if I bought my wife a meat smoker for our anniversary she’d find physiological inappropriate things to do with the leather hiking boots that I got her in the previous year! But me, she could award my faithfulness and longevity with 70 rounds of .223 and some paper zombie targets and I would know that she honored loved and respected me.I will continue to work on this list though its not so humorus as it first was. Maybe for the space of one day in the year we could just accept tradition and buy the silk roses, the crystal broach, or the diamond studs and be “unpreppery.” Afterall, your spouse is going to be your backup if bad things go down so make sure you have primed the pan and they are ready to fire!
Cheers – Tony